were you Walking on Eggshells as a Child? Signs You Carry Trauma Into Adulthood
Childhood trauma doesn’t always look like the dramatic stories we often hear.
Sometimes, it’s quieter. It happens in the ways love was conditional, emotions were dismissed, or parents were too caught up in their own struggles to truly see their child.
If you grew up with emotionally immature caregivers, the impact can echo well into adulthood. You may not have had words for it growing up, but your child body and mind learned to adapt in order to emotionally survive. Now, as an adult, you might notice patterns that trace directly back to those early years.
In this blog, I’ll walk you through:
What childhood trauma really is
How emotionally immature parents create a unique imprint
The signs you may still be carrying this trauma today
Why these patterns are stored in the body, mind, and spirit
What healing can look like through therapy
What you can expect if we work together
What Is Childhood Trauma?
Childhood trauma is any experience that overwhelms a child’s ability to feel safe, supported, or emotionally regulated. It’s feeling too much, too fast.
It doesn’t only happen during obvious crises like abuse or neglect. It can also happen when:
Your emotions were minimized or mocked.
Crying led to shaming instead of comfort.
You were expected to be the “easy going child” who was agreeable.
You had to prioritize a parent’s needs & emotions over your own.
When children learn that they cannot emotionally rely on their caregivers to help them process big feelings, their body, subconscious, and nervous system carries those moments as unprocessed stress. The trauma isn’t just the event — it’s the lack of support & understanding to integrate and regulate it.
The Role of Emotionally Immature Parents (EIP)
Emotionally immature parents often mean well. But they lack the tools, awareness, or regulation to respond to their child in nurturing ways. They might have been:
Reactive: Exploding or shutting down during conflict.
Self-absorbed: Centering their own feelings instead of yours (e.g always making their kids apologize, but never apologizing themselves)
Unpredictable: Switching between warmth and coldness (the “walking on eggshells” feeling).
Unavailable: Present physically, but emotionally absent (always clothing and feeding their children, but never asking how they are feeling or knowing details about their lives).
As a child, you learned survival strategies in response. You may have thought:
If I don’t have needs, I won’t be a burden.
If I take care of them, maybe they’ll take care of me.
If I’m perfect, maybe I’ll finally be loved.
These strategies seemed to have worked back then. But as an adult, they often become the very patterns that cause pain.
Signs You May Still Be Carrying Childhood Trauma
If you grew up with emotionally immature parents, here are some common ways childhood trauma may still show up in your life:
People-pleasing: Saying yes to avoid conflict, even at your own expense.
Perfectionism: Believing love or safety must be earned through achievement.
Hyper-independence: Feeling safe only when you don’t rely on anyone.
Self-doubt: Second-guessing your decisions or feeling “not good enough.”
Anxious attachment: Worrying about abandonment or rejection in relationships.
Choosing emotionally unavailable partners: Re-creating familiar dynamics.
Difficulty setting boundaries: Feeling guilty when you prioritize yourself.
Avoiding conflict: Staying silent instead of voicing needs.
These aren’t just “bad habits.” They are intelligent adaptations to an environment where your needs weren’t consistently met.
Why These Patterns Run So Deep
Trauma isn’t just a memory stored in your mind. It lives in your nervous system. Even if your adult self “knows better,” your body & your subconscious are still programmed to react as if you’re in an 8 year old who is in danger when old patterns are triggered.
That’s why only talking about trauma isn’t always enough. Healing often requires reaching the subconscious, the body, and even the spiritual dimension.
My Integrative Approach to Healing
I work with clients using a blend of approaches that go beyond traditional talk therapy.
Together, we weave in:
Hypnotherapy: Accessing the subconscious to uncover and reframe early imprints.
Holistic therapy: Honoring the full mind-body-Spirit connection.
Spiritual therapy: Exploring ancestral patterns, visualization, and symbolic meaning.
Ketamine-assisted therapy (KAP): Opening new neural pathways for resetting your mind and the unwanted programming from childhood.
Nature therapy (Walk & Talk in northern Westchester): Using the natural world as a co-therapist, grounding you back into your body.
This work is not one-size-fits-all. Every client’s journey is unique, and our sessions are tailored to your needs, background, and goals.
What Healing Looks Like
Healing from childhood trauma means slowly dismantling those old survival strategies and making space for new ways of being. Through therapy, clients often begin to:
Set boundaries with family without drowning in guilt.
Rest without feeling “lazy” or ashamed.
Recognize love when it feels safe, rather than waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Speak their truth, even if it risks tension.
Allow themselves to be supported instead of carrying everything alone.
It’s not about erasing the past. It’s about rewriting the relationship you have with yourself — and finally living as the adult you’ve always deserved to be.
What to Expect If We Work Together
Step One: Intro Call
I offer a free 15-minute phone call where we can connect and see if we’re a good fit. You’ll share what you’re seeking, and I’ll explain how I work with clients.
Step Two: Weekly Sessions
Once care begins, we meet weekly for therapy sessions. This is where we gently unravel your early experiences and explore how they show up today.
Sessions are available online or as Walk & Talk therapy in northern Westchester.
Step Three: Integrative Modalities
As trust builds, we may bring in hypnotherapy, spiritual work, or ketamine-assisted therapy (if aligned) to go deeper. Each step is collaborative, and you always have agency in what feels right for you.
Why My Approach Is Different
I bring a shamanic and spiritual lens into therapy. That means I don’t just look at symptoms or behaviors — I see you as an interconnected being of mind, body, and spirit— connected with the greater Consciousness/Universe/Spirit .
Healing is not just about “fixing” what’s broken. It’s about reclaiming your wholeness, your ancestral wisdom, and your inner truth. My role is to create a safe container where the unsaid can finally be spoken — because naming what’s been hidden is often the first step toward freedom.
Taking the First Step
If you recognize yourself in these words, know this: you are not broken. The patterns you carry are proof of how resourceful and resilient you were as a child.
But you don’t have to keep living inside those old survival strategies. Healing is possible.
I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute intro call with me. This is a gentle, no-pressure space where we can see if working together feels right for you.
Your needs matter. Your truth matters. And you deserve to feel loved without having to earn it.
