what do i need to do to stop feeling so anxious all the time?

To feel less anxious, you need to stop treating anxiety like something you have to immediately get rid of. The more you can notice anxiety, allow it to be there, and avoid getting pulled into everything it tells you, the less power it tends to have over you. The goal isn't to never feel anxious again—it's to build a different relationship with anxiety when it shows up.

Why does my anxiety get worse when I try to calm myself down?

Trying desperately to make anxiety go away can accidentally teach your mind that anxiety itself is dangerous. Then you become anxious about being anxious, which gives the feeling even more attention and urgency.

Instead of immediately trying to fix it, practice noticing: Anxiety is here right now. You don't have to agree with every anxious thought or figure out what it means. You can simply notice what's happening without letting it take over.

What should I do when I start feeling anxious?

Notice the feeling without immediately trying to make it go away. Acknowledge it almost like a familiar guest: “Oh, anxiety is here again.” Let it be there without giving it your full attention, while reminding yourself that the feeling is temporary and will eventually pass.

The more you practice allowing anxiety to exist without getting absorbed by it, the less threatening it begins to feel.

How do I stop getting absorbed in anxious thoughts?

Practice observing your thoughts instead of automatically following them. When your mind says, "Something is going to go wrong," notice that you're having an anxious thought rather than immediately trying to prove or disprove it.

You can think of your thoughts like clouds moving through the sky: you can see them without having to chase them. The more often you practice creating that little bit of distance, the easier it becomes to experience anxiety without becoming completely consumed by it.

How do I stop letting anxiety control my life?

By learning that you can feel anxious without needing to react to it. When you stop treating every anxious feeling as an emergency, it becomes easier to let the feeling come and go without changing your plans, seeking reassurance, or getting pulled into every anxious thought.

Over time, the question becomes less “How do I make this stop?” and more “Can I keep living my life while anxiety is here?” That's often when anxiety starts to feel much more manageable.

How can therapy help me manage anxiety?

Therapy can help you understand what tends to trigger your anxiety while practicing a different response when it appears. Rather than only trying to control anxious thoughts, you can learn to observe them, understand the deeper patterns underneath them, and feel more grounded in yourself when uncertainty shows up. All while learning practical tools that will help you regulate your nervous system.

You don't have to win a fight with your anxiety.

Anxiety can knock on the door without getting the keys to the house. The more you practice welcoming it without becoming absorbed by it, the more you learn: I've felt this before. I can make space for it. And it will pass.

If you're looking for support managing anxiety and reconnecting with yourself, I offer virtual therapy throughout New York, New Jersey, and Virginia.